Keeping Your Composure

Life can throw a lot of curve balls your way. Life can be beautiful, hard, frustrating, and enchanting. But I feel it's how we handle ourselves in the not-so-pleasant moments that determines what kind of people we are. Some people say they are so annoyed with their lives, so much so that when something fun or positive does come their way they say things like, "Ha! Take that, life!" as if they have outsmarted life or something. I simply don't see the need for that. When wonderful, fun things come your way, that is part of life! Tests will come your way too, but working hard and making sacrifices are just some of the things you have to do. Life never gets any easier. There is always work to be done, tasks to complete and eggs in the basket.

When you are having one of those day when you are "annoyed with life" just sit back and look at a few things: In this moment, in the here and the now, you have a roof over your head, you have food in your kitchen, and you have friends who love you. In this moment, this single, solitary moment, you are safe. That is all that matters. You will cause yourself so much hurt, heartache and stress if you keep reminding yourself of all the impending tasks, of all the things that didn't go your way today. Instead think of the things that did go your way, and remind yourself that right now, you're safe and you're loved.

Living your life mindfully, day by day, is so freeing. You should try it sometime.

Finale Fantasy came out today...

Don't be fooled, this is not a post about Final Fantasy. I don't play the game, though my roommate does. Naturally, a bunch of his friends are here to witness him playing the game. I don't mind his friends, however there are quite a few of them here and it's fairly late. I also have to teach in the morning. Not only do I have to teach in the morning, I have to figure out how on earth to get over to Redondo Beach to Civic Light Opera Co. at noon, when I teach in the valley at 11am and have to be at work in WeHo at 1:30pm. I can't afford to be late for work, literally. Every penny counts. However, this show pays really well so missing the audition is a major loss as well. I will just have to figure something out.

In other news, I met with a potential manager at the end of last week. I should be hearing from him on Friday. I hope it's good news. I really, really hope it's good news. I felt the meeting went really well and that we would be a great match. Let's hope good things happen!

So many of my friends are out of commission this week. Joshua and Stevie are in Oz until the 16th, Carly is quite busy with class, Jason will be locked up with FF for at least a week, and Simone is having her wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. I guess this is a sigh that I should spend this week on myself, if I can handle that. I don't normally take time for me, so I suppose I should do so when I have ample time.

I have so many things in the works right now that I am running out of things to cross! Everybody start crossing stuff for me, please!

Anyway, it's time for bed, regardless of the battle sounds coming from the other room.

Life and Love

Love is a very tricky thing. You may think you feel it at one time, but then when you truly do have it you realize how nothing else can possible compare. It's the most amazing feeling, to love and be loved. But some people feel as though they have to reserve this feeling, this precious four letter word. They can't just go around loving lovers all willy nilly. While this is true in some regard, it seems as though it holds back one's life a bit. I hate to say that Kelly Clarkson and her song writers got it just right...but they really did. "This may not last but this is now...love the one your with." It's so very true. And I realized today that I'm not looking for a serious relationship, or a boyfriend or a casual lover or even a potential husband. I'm just searching for love, whatever that may mean in the here and the now. Whether or not that love becomes anything, only time will tell. But my feeling is, if you're with someone you should allow yourself to love them, no matter what label the two of you sport. There is something about loving another person, with no boundaries, no worries, just loving them, that makes life a thousand times more beautiful. At the same time, doing so leaves you open to the worst pain a person can experience in life. I know, I've been there. But you always crawl out and rise to your feet again. And when you look back you realize that it was worth all the pain, hurt and anguish just to have that feeling even once.

So please, allow yourself to love him or her. Just let go, and do it. I know, it's scary. But it's the most amazing feeling in the entire world.

Just love.

The latest...

It has been a while since I have blogged about much of anything. But recently I have been getting a lot of Facebook messages from people back home asking about the things I am currently doing. (I blame a combination of my parent's bragging and new photo tags.) So, allow me to fill you all in!

The past few months have been a bit of a roller coaster, that is certain. Those of you you who know me well know that I HATE roller coasters. Seriously, I do. They make me want to pee my pants. I'm of course now talking about literal roller coasters. This past week I went to California Adventure with some friends, and I happily held everyone's sweatshirt and cell phones while they flung themselves around on "California Screamin'" and I waited by the gate. I'm such a mom. Anyway! To give a quick recap of the goings on since Christmas; I lost my representation, which is quite a devastating blow personally. Professionally, it happens everyday. And with the economy and the industry the way it is, I wasn't too surprised. I took it as an opportunity to seek something better, and have since been doing just that. I'm submitting to and meeting with as many new people as possible in hopes that I can put together a new and better team.

Aside from assembling a new dream team, I'm also involving myself in as many independent projects as possible. The one everyone back home has heard the most about is "Fantasy World." This is a mixed media series, both live action and animation. I am, as our director/creator Stephen Leonard calls me, "ear candy" as the voice of Vanessa Starlet. Vanessa is a young star who is the animated eye candy for a live guy. She has a Jessica Rabbit quality to her, but with a bit of a younger touch. Needless to say I have my fun. Hopefully the teaser will be up soon, once animation and editing are finished. I will post more when I know more. The second project I have been working on in another live action + animation project called "Friends with Fins." It is an educational project about how humans effect and can better protect the lives of our sea creatures. I'm honored and excited to be working on both of these projects with dear friends. Who better to work with than people you love!?

And last but not least, my newest adventure is proving to be one that I love more than I imagined I could. I have started coaching voice and harmony technique for a 5 member, girl pop group called NMD (No More Drama). Each girl is more talented than I could possibly explain and they range in age from 13-18.The group has been put together by manager and Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough. I wont lie, the fact that I'm working for a Backstreet Boy has me just tickled pink. :) I'm am so honored to be working with these very talented girls and their totally dedicated team. They just had their first big gig on Tuesday at Key Club on the Sunset Strip and now we are preparing to shop them to the various record labels once Backstreet returns from their tour. Again, I can't express how excited I am!

Anyway, so that's the latest news from Hollywood! I will post more info on the projects as they come out, and be sure to check on NMD on youtube, twitter, facebook and Myspace!

xo!

P.S. and yes...I'm auditioning for Glee. Be excited.

I've cleaned my slate with waterless slate sanitizer...

Okay, so my slate is not completely clean. But what slate ever is? I am, however, beginning a new part of my journey. This part of the journey is not nearly as fresh as the one I began just over a year ago. It has to it a hint of established freshness. I have already been here a year, I know the city and I am surrounded by wonderful friends. I have a job which I enjoy and pays me enough to keep the lights on and food in the kitchen. For all these established things, I am very grateful. But there are two new things approaching that have me very excited. The first is a new apartment. It's a very cute little place, and I will be sharing it with a very cool friend. After the stress caused by one of my current roommates, I'm ready to switch him out for Jason and move to a new place that smells of fresh paint and carpet glue. We came into a bit of good fortune in the way of furniture and refrigeration, so I am feeling confident that all will be well.

I am also excited about my return to school. I start back up at LAVC in January. California's educational budget cuts make it impossible for me to transfer to a 4 year university until I am nearly halfway through my junior year. So I will spend some time getting to know the lovely people at LAVC, use them for their low tuition and then leave them once my minimum credits are complete. Getting back into the classroom is something I have been wanting to do for quite some time, and I'm totally ready for it. I cannot wait.

With all these things waiting for me, I am beyond eager to jump in head first. However, my calendar tells me I have to wait until the dates approach. I will just sit on my hands and wait excitedly for everything I've planned to unfold.

I've also decided to take a new approach to...dating, and that would be not doing it. I need and want to get myself all straightened first. I want to settle into school first, adjust to the new living situation and make sure I am firmly planted on my own two feet. As much as I enjoy being in a relationship, I cannot force one to happen or magic one out of thin air and fairy dust. I have to wait for the right person to happen into my life. And that can't happen until I have everything else settled. He also has to be the right person; someone who challenges me intellectually, is passionate and driven, has a love for music, wants the same things out of life, all the stuff you find in a generic Katherine Heigl chick flick. (I have excellent standards...HA!) And he must love dogs. Good heavens, I once planned to spend the rest of my life with a man who HATED animals, and I wont make that mistake again. Also, he has to want to be in a relationship. I can't make a guy commit to a relationship if he doesn't want one. That is just going to end is disappointment for everyone involved. He gets stuck in a relationship he doesn't really want, and I would be constantly wanting just a little bit more. Nobody's happy there. The moral of this part of the story is that, I'm not in a hurry and I really don't feel like dating. So, if you were planning to ask me out to dinner anytime soon, sorry. Check back in 4-6 months.

I'll close this here. I'm at work, and I really shouldn't be writing a blog. After all, there are urgent things that need my attention, such as the programming of my boss' iPhone.

I went shopping today and bought myself some cancer!

Ok. So this is a rant. I will not use any names. Some people may know who I am talking about. If you do, good, you can join in on the laugh. If you don't, you can still laugh, just not directly at the expense of the unnamed person.

Smoking is viciously unattractive. It's a disgusting habit to maintain. If you happen to have a social cigarette now and then, I don't judge you quite as much. Just don't expect me to let you talk at me, breathe near me or kiss me for at least 12 hours. Hookah, while the habit does not seem as disgusting, is actually far worse for you. For some reason people refuse to believe that, but it's true. A one hour hookah session is the equal to smoking 100-200 cigarettes, depending on how deeply you inhale. Harvard did a health study, and here is the intro. If you are not a subscriber, you may not be able to view the full study. http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/dangers-of-hookah-smoking

Anyway, I am allowing my train to derail. My main focus here is smoking. Having grown up in rural Ohio, where the neighbors considered my family first class because we had all our teeth, I view smoking as a red neck habit. Sure, some classy people have smoked in their day. A cigarette was never more appealing to me than the day I saw my idol Audrey Hepburn smoking, holding the long, slender cigarette holder in her delicate fingers. Of course back then no one knew the harmful affects of smoking. It was just viewed as the classy thing to do. However, we have the health studies, we have done the research. The fact is that smoking is one of the biggest killers to date. Which brings me to a certain girl I know. We will call her....what will we call her?Now kiddies, be nice. No, "whore" is not a name we can use here...no, we can't say "white trash" either...We will call her Lisa.

I want to write Lisa a letter, because her behavior has reached the point where I had to remove her from my facebook feed because I disapproved so much. I know, harsher things have been done in the world. But I'm 3,000 miles away, I haven't many more options. I'm going to be kind here, and leave out as many personal details as I can...but I can only hold back so much.

Dear Lisa,

I hope you're well, and that you are enjoying married life, however shotgunned the first ceremony was. You're dress was pretty. Though, I must say, you laced it far to tight in an effort of show off your little waste. It resulted in your boobs spilling too far over the top of your dress, like two over-filled muffin cups. Not classy, sweety. Again, the dress was beautiful though. The Wal*Mart sheet cake was a nice touch too. *ahem* Moving on....

You posted some new photos the other day. With Facebook's new news feed set up, I had no choice but to see them. (That is, until I removed you from me feed.) So, you smoke now? How delightfully tacky of you. Not only do you smoke, you smoke inside your home: a cigarette in one hand and a bud light in the other. Wow, you are just Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" classy, aren't you? (That was sarcasm, I don't know if they taught you what that means in your GED classes. Basically, it means I'm suggesting you are the farthest thing from classy.) You smoke inside you own home while your 3 year old daughter sits across the room. For this, you are a terrible person. Not to mention the irresponsibility of having a child at 17, and don't give me any bull about how she wasn't planned. I watch you try time and time again to get knocked up and blame it on whoever was your flavor of the week. That pregnancy was no accident, sorry, you don't get to play that card. I sat and watched as you ruined the life of one boy, and tried to take another one down after that. Then I watched you whore around town while baby was at home with grandma. You are the epitome of irresponsible, white trash. I seldom judge people, but I judge you. I judge you harshly. You try and act like you are a wonderful person and a caring mother and friend. If you were any of these things you would give yourself and your child a fair shot at a good life. If you're going to smoke, smoke outside. And at least whiten your damn teeth before your next wedding. They looked orange next to your cancer coffin tanned skin and your white dress.

Sincerely,

Liz

Things I Have Learned

Well, it has been a year since some very life changing events and decisions occurred. In that time, I have learned a few things that I feel like putting into words.

• Ukulele is the ultimate anti-depressant. Seriously.
• You can promise that growing up and moving on wont change who you really are, but that is a promise you will never keep.
• Young men don't know what they are doing.
• Older men don't have much of a clue either.
• Therefore, all men are lost in the fog.
• You can't change people or their minds.
• Friends are a key part of both sanity and insanity.
• When getting into a car accident in California, the likelihood of the other party speaking English is about 20%.
• Not everyone is as nice as you are, and you explaining their behavior to them doesn't always make a difference.
• It isn't until you live on your own that you realize how crazy the cycle of life is, but it's then that you realize its beauty.

Theses are just some of the things I have learned. Perhaps I will add more to this list later.