Morality. Religion. Politics.

When I moved from Mount Vernon, I promise myself, my family and my friends that I wouldn't let the "big city" change me. I would let it loosen my morals, change my political views, or demolish my faith. Well, six month have past and I can honestly say that is a promise I failed to keep. It is good in some ways, and bad in others. Now that I am on my own completely, I find my relationship with God to be stronger. I have needed him more in the past 9 months than I think I ever have. He has seen me through and continues to help me move forward. But I haven't held up my part of the bargain. I go to church dutifully, and I love my parish. I have, however, let my morals slide in a way I hoped I never would. It wasn't so much the city that did it, rather a person who changed my life before I even came here. He left me so utterly lost, I literally ran in circles of which I couldn't break free. I don't want to be promiscuous, and I don't consider myself to be. But I am terrified by the thought of becoming that way. I have once again come to the conclusion that I am stepping away from that kind of behavior until I come to a relationship where I feel completely comfortable, safe, supported and loved. I don't want to devalue the connection that kind of relationship has.

Politically, I have changed. But this is the area where it is certainly not a bad thing. About 3 weeks after moving here, I made a new friend. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think he and I have formed quite a friendship, and I have really come to appreciate him. He is addicted to US politics. (Did I mention he is from Australia?) It was his major in college...in Australia. I know, he's special. Anyway, he really got me back into political conversation. I'm sure the fact that a historic election was going on helped too, but he was a big part of it. Being brought up in a small, conservative town, your views come to be pretty set in one of two ways: (1) those of your parents and what they see or (2) those of your friends and what they see. Either way, what one sees from the top of "Tidy Mount Idy" is VERY limited. Having moved to a large city with an immensely diverse culture, I am exposed to so much more. And I didn't even spend all my time locked up in the Vern! I traveled, I interned in DC, saw parts of Europe, almost spent a summer in Africa (which to this day I regret not doing, and have intensely been reconsidering...but all the shots scare me). I am no stranger to the world outside of Main Street Mt. Vernon. However, I see so many different view points here and come to appreciate so many different ideas, I cannot help but become more of an independent....and dare I say it...boarder line liberal. This does not mean I have lost my conservative side. I am just opening my mind a little bit more than before, and I rather enjoy it.

Long story short, the city has changed me. Be it for better or worse, overall I don't really mind. I am doing my best to regain what I feel I have lost and strengthen the great things I have gained. I think I will emerge from it all a wonderful but slightly altered version of...well, myself! And I like that idea. I like it a lot.